by
Michelle
aye did not know what had made her venture into the attic after so long. It was like some sort of feeling she got when she woke up. Of course, with memories she had tried to block out of her mind for so long, she did not know what to expect.She knelt down beside the chest and blew away the dust, making her cough from the thick cloud. Carefully, she unlocked it and hurled it open. Inside, she found a photograph album labelled 'memories'. Tears filled her eyes as she opened it and saw a large photo of her beautiful, beaming mother. Faye was the image of Sandra. In fact, it upset her to smile in the mirror, and see her own mother smiling back. The same long, dark shining black hair and rosy cheeked face and ice blue eyes. They resembled enchanting china dolls. As Faye delved down to the bottom of the chest, her fingers touched a cold, hard object. Gently lifting it, she could see it was her mother's riding helmet. The same one she wore that dreadful day. Tearfully, she touched the leather straps and placed it on her head. Instant memories flooded back. So suddenly pictures that she had tried to block out for so long filled her mind - pictures of her mother. They jolted through her like electricity, piercing her mind with haunting memories, frightening her. She was shocked. Why did I come up here? She asked herself. Why didn't I just forget it ever happened? The damage in her mind had only just begun. Then the whispering started. "Faye" a voice thinner than air whispered. " Mum?" She answered shakily. " Faye" it repeated. " Leave me alone" she ordered. " Faye" In an angry, sudden move, she threw the helmet down onto the landing. " Faye?" A voice called up, but she knew this was her father. His footsteps sounded on the stairs. "Come down, you shouldn't be up there, love" When she reached the floor, he noticed the helmet. "Oh. Are you going to use it?" He asked, in a hoarse voice. Faye nodded, although she was not sure she wanted to. "Okay" he said gently, and turned back down the stairs. Scooping up the riding helmet, Faye retreated to her room, where she placed it on her desk. She flopped down on her bed and tried to ignore the constant whispers. The events of the awful day were toying with Faye's mind. It was early spring, Faye and her mother's favourite season. However, normally there was cheer in the air. Now there was hate. For Faye, it was the hate of her mother for having an affair. Her mother was filled with guilt. Her father, did not know what Sandra had done and Faye was determined to keep it that way. But that didn't mean that she wouldn't have it out with her mother. "Tell me it's not true" she demanded. "Faye, honey. I don't want you to get hurt." "I'm already hurt, can't you see that?" "Darling, calm down." "I hate you. I never want to see you again." She screamed. After that, her mother went riding, to clear her head. She was sobbing uncontrollably. She came to the bridge where she and Faye would ride. Trotting Gypsy, her golden palomino, gently across, Sandra noticed a crack in the wood. Unfortunately, she didn't notice soon enough. Gypsy carried on and Sandra held her breath. The horse narrowly missed the crack with her forequarters, but when Sandra gave a sigh of relief, Gypsy got her back hoof wedged in and started panicking. She reared up in terror, her eyes rolling and showing their whites. The screaming of the beautiful horse was unbearable. " Easy girl, easy" she soothed, but this had no effect. Clasping the reins tightly Sandra held on for dear life. The rearing became more violent and Gypsy could stand it no longer. She reared up once more, the sweat rolling off her tired body. Sandra felt herself hanging in mid air. Her head jerked back awkwardly and her weak hands let go of the reins. She was flung over the bridge, and her mind froze. She felt nothing. She was locked in a daze, and everything happened in slow motion. She came crashing down into the cold river, smashing her head against the rocks, the impact of the fall was overwhelming, and there was no chance of survival. Everything fell silent. Gypsy stood with her head hung low, as if guilty. The air was still. No bird chirped. Even the rushing flow of the river seemed invisible. A dark shadow had descended over the valley, consuming the once cheerful air in one big gulp. "Noooooo!" Faye screamed, snapping out of her daze. She was pale and sweaty and quite disturbed. "It was my fault, Mum. I'm sorry" she sobbed. "Faye" the voice whispered again. "Stop it, leave me alone" Faye screamed angrily. The voice did not stop and Faye thought it was her mother wanting revenge. Trying to block out the hissing voice, Faye put on her headphones, turned up the volume and let the pounding of Nirvana take over. Yet above the drumming noise, the whispering could still be heard clearly. Her mother's spirit was in the room. It was in the helmet which was her life. Her love of riding ended up killing her, that, and her daughter's hatred. My God, Faye thought, I killed my mother. If I hadn't have screamed and yelled at her that day, she would never had gone riding in that state. I murdered my own mother. As drastic as that sounded, Faye's mind had been messed with. Knowing that she was a murderer made her hate herself. How could she live with herself? And now my Mother is haunting me, she thought. "What will I do?" she said aloud, and, once again the whispers continued. Faye decided to talk to her Dad. And so, turning off the music, she ran downstairs to her father, who was standing in the kitchen, cooking. He turned around and looked concerned. "Do you feel okay sweetie? You look pale." "I killed Mum" she said. He didn't know how to respond. "Wwwhat?" he asked shakily. "It was my fault, Dad. I killed Mum." "Now hang on honey, you're not making any sense" he told her. "I said I killed Mum" "Now Faye, you know your mother's death was an accident" "Aren't you listening to me? It was my fault. I was angry with her, I upset her. It was my fault she went riding in that state. The helmet made me realise that." "The helmet?" he asked, puzzled. "Mum's riding helmet. I put it on, and it replayed everything. The argument, the accident. Mum's death." "Faye, we haven't talked about your mother in a long time. Maybe it's better it stays that way. Now let's have some tea and you can stop blaming yourself." "Am I talking to a brick wall, Dad? Why don't you listen? I am a murderer!" she was screaming now. "Calm down love, you're starting to scare me." This was true, Faye seemed crazy and out of control. Is this my little girl speaking? Her father asked, amazed. Then the phone rang, Faye picked it up. "What?" she snapped. "Faye" it was the voice again. Faye started shaking. " For God's sake, leave me alone, Mum" she hollered. She slammed the phone down and stood, trembling. Her Father was lost for words. "Dddid yyyou ssay Mum, Faye?" he stammered. "Yeah, she's back from the dead, and she wants revenge on me" she giggled hysterically. Her Father did not find it funny, he found it worrying. Faye made an unexpected move. Darting into the tools room, she returned with a large, steel hammer. "Faye?" her Father said, sensing that something was wrong with the child. Faye tossed the phone to the floor, and stood with the hammer raised high above it. She then sent it crashing down, smashing the telephone into sharp, brittle pieces. After she was satisfied it was properly demolished, she let out a long, crazy, disturbing laugh. "Faye, maybe I should take you to the doctor's." Her Father suggested. What is wrong with her? He asked himself. "I'm not going anywhere. They'll tell the police, they'll put me away. You won't desert me, will you Dad?" She looked like the girl from the Exorcist, hot and bothered, grouchy and wide-eyed. Faye's father got the distinct feeling that taking her to the doctors would not work. Well, she's smashed the phone, I'll have to go myself, he thought, planning his actions. "I'm just going to get a doctor, Faye" he informed her. "Yeah, well I guess I can't stop you from doing that. But I'll be gone by the time you get back." Her father considered this. "Come here" he said, grabbing her by the arm. He yanked her to her room, and Faye struggled all the way. "Let go" she protested. Her Father threw her into her room, and slammed the door, and locked it. "Let me out!" Faye screamed with rage, pounding her fists on the door. Her Father felt bad about doing this to her, but she needed help. This was not the Faye he used to know. She had changed. And now although it seemed cruel, he had to tell someone, they may take her away but it would be for her own good. Swiftly, he made for the door with tears in his eyes, wishing he didn't have to do this, he would loose the only daughter he had, and be alone since he had lost his wife as well. Meanwhile, a very distressed Faye was convulsing in sobs on the floor. Her life had been ripped apart. I'm crazy. she thought. That stupid helmet has put things in my mind. Things that make me hate myself. Why did I find it in the first place? Was it some kind of destiny? Was this meant to happen? Was Mum supposed to die? Am I supposed to be like this? Am I really a murderer? "Faye"it was the voice again. It crushed her mind. It was deafening. She was frightened that her mother was coming to get her. The whispers started getting louder and Faye could stand it no longer. In a desperate attempt to stop the menacing whispers, she grabbed the riding helmet that was still on her desk and threw it out of the open fanlight. It crashed to the ground, just as it did when her mother was wearing it. The whispering stopped. Faye felt better. Now Mum can leave me alone Faye thought, relieved and exhausted. She thought it was over now but it wasn't. Her mind was still troubled. The chance of her ever getting better was fragile. She then heard the murmur of voices outside her door. She knew that her Father had returned and had the doctor with him. A sense of betrayal that she had felt towards her mother, Faye was now feeling towards her Father. The door was unlocked, and in came Faye's Father and a tall man with a moustache and jet black hair that had been gelled back smoothly, and a look that showed he was in control. Faye did not like him one bit. "Now Faye, let's not make this difficult for the both of us. Why don't you come with me?" he said calmly. Faye looked at her Father. He looked ashamed, this was obviously a difficult situation for him. "You betrayed me" she hissed, fixing him with a penetrating, piercing stare. "Come on Faye let's have a look at you" the doctor said edging closer. This was a bad move. It surprised Faye. Like a startled cat, she darted away from him. Still he moved closer. It wasn't until he had manoeuvred himself near enough that he could grab her arm that Faye snapped. She suddenly grabbed a chair and hurled it out of the window. The sound of the shattering glass shocked the doctor. It rooted him to the spot long enough for Faye to jump up onto the window sill. She sneaked one more dirty look at her father and turned around. Before either of the men could move, Faye leapt out of the window. The two men watched her go. They stood, paralysed and unable to move. The girl's fall seemed to last for an eternity, all happening in slow motion, as her mother's fall had happened. For Faye, the fall seemed peaceful, she was undisturbed. It was the landing that was fast. As soon as her head cracked against the stone pavement, she was knocked unconscious. The rest of her body landed awkwardly, she could not have been saved. Stunned, the two men just stared at the still, unmoving, lifeless body lying twisted and mangled on the hard pavement. Neither of them could hear it, but the haunting whisper that the girl would not listen to filled the air once more, "Faye"it whispered "I forgive you".
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