by
Reza Harris
Jreesneck is an alien. He lives on Mars. He is a typical martian: peaceful, intelligent, and incapable of any evil. He wants to be a detective on Venus. On Venus, there was a big crime wave going on. Jreesneck is going to leave Mars, and go to Police School. Let's go drop in for a visit. Ah! It looks like Jreesneck is leaving home right now......
"Jreesneck," asked Jreesneck's best friend Lakaloopa "Are you sure you want to leave? I mean, Venus is a TERRIBLE place. How will you defend yourself?" Jreesneck was stunned. He had never thought of that. He sat on the cold ground, and started to think. He knew no one on Mars could help him. And the he only viseted one planet: Earth. He remembered visiting India. He remembered his guid saying something about..."Jreesneck?" Lakaloopa asked "How will you defend yourself?" Jreesneck ignored him. He continued thinking. Now, what did the guid sa-wait! It wasn't a what! It was a who! He remembered the first name: Mohatma. That was all. "Lakaloopa," he said "May I be left alone? I wish to think. I don't mean to be rude." Lakaloopa nodded. "I see." said Lakaloopa "I am needed for our eating ritual anyway." Jreesneck smiled warmly. Now, it was a Mohatma. Mohatma Presly? No, that wasn't him. Mohatma...Mohatma...Gandi! He used love to fight!
Twenty-five years later, Jreesneck was a detective. He failed combat class, though. Jreesneck had caught twenty-nine crimanals already. He had learned that crime on Venus was run by Slookoo Dreknagoog. Let's join Jreesneck. He's in Dreknagoog's hideout....
A burly Saturnian grabbed Jreesneck's shoulders. Jreesneck looked up and sung "All you need is love". A song by the Beatles, a popular Earth musical band. The Saturnian fell to pieces. Bullets whizzed everywhere! Well, not bullets. Hamburger meat whizzed everywhere. For anything that wasn't Earth-made, hamburger meat was the most deadliest thing in the world. Jreesneck threw a fluffy poodle out into the battle field. Once it hit the ground, it said, "I love you THIIIISSS much!!!" There was a big 'Poof!', and all the baddies were gone. Jreesneck stepped into Dreknagoog's office. He buzzed for the robo-police on his Snooza (A beeper). Jreesneck pulled out a Barney doll. "One false move," he said "And I'll squeeze him!" "Your bluffing!" yelled Dreknagoog. Dreknagoog pulled out a humburger meat gun. Jreesneck squeezed the Barney doll. A mushy "I love you!" came out of the doll's mouth. Dreknagoog shrieked. When the robo-police arrived, they found a unconscus Dreknagoog, and a triumphant Jreesneck.
What happened to everyone?
Jreesneck was awarded the highest award in the galaxy. Slookoo Dreknagoog was sentanced to a Trillion years of Hamburger meat mining. Lakaloopa became Jreesneck's sidekick.
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