t was dumb. Writing love letters to dad. Our family is divoriced and dad lives in Washington. California seems far away from Washington. I thought those love letters were dumb, so I kept them under my pillow.

I wrote stuff like: How's it going in Washington or I miss you and I love you. All gushy stuff. I told nobody about them, not my family, not my friends, nobody. Then it happened, I coundn't help it. It was an urge to send a letter to dad. And I did it. I was stupid enough to do it. It was dumb. So I sent it. Dad sent a letter back and I couldn't stop reading it. It was like having dad at home. But then I did it. The love of my dad was gone. I threw his letter away. My heart was broken. I sat down on my bed. I thought about what I did. I did it because of nothing. Was it because I'm dumb? No. It was because I knew that I would never see dad, ever. Ok maybe I was sad, no alot sadder than you think.

I cried all night. Mom came in to see what was wrong, but I knew she wouldn't help, so I said, "None of your buisness." I thought I would die when mom told me dad was coming for Cristmas. I told her, why haven't you invited him over years ago. And she said, "You'll understand when your older."

It was weird when dad came over. I couldn't remember anything about him. Then I saw it, in the garbage bag, my letter. I pulled it out, even though it smelled and had some stains on it, I kept it forever.

I felt sad all over again before dad left. He was about to step into his car, when I yelled, "WAIT!!" I gave him a picture of me.