nce upon a time there was a flea. His name was Joe.

Anyway, Joe woke up one morning, rubbed his huge insect eyes with his tiny hands/paws/whatever their called, and looked around him. Suddenly, poor Joe let out a shriek of terror!

Long and stringy, sticking clean out into the air about 5 cm above him, was a hair. He shrieked again, for he then noticed that all around him was hair, hair, hair - too much hair! So, our brave soldier got up and started flapping his wings rapidly and started flying about nervously, trying to find out where he was, how he had gotten there, and how he could get out!

He flew on and on and on .. "Doesn't this place have an end??" he thought desperately, searching for the exit.

"Of course it doesn't!" said an evil voice he didn't recognize.

He stopped clean in his tracks, mortified. Not because he didn't know who was speaking (although, that did play quite a big role), but because he didn't know how this "being" could have known what he was thinking! So, he asked, "Who are you?"

There was no answer.

"Hmm," thought Joe, "maybe he can only hear my thoughts!"

"What a remarkably correct assumption!" said the voice, cackling away evilly.

"And who, may I ask, are you, then?" thought Joe.

"I am .. I am . uh ."

"You don't KNOW?!" he said outraged.

"Well . uh . to tell you the truth, I ." squealed the voice, loosing all mysticism and evilness.

"Riiiiight . you don't know ."

"Tis not true, sir!" it protested.

"THEN WHO ARE YOU?!" Joe shouted. It's amazing how threatening a flea can be sometimes.

The voice gave a brilliant cough and said in a loud, dignified voice (wait a minute, it already IS the voice!!! o.O???), "I, my dear flee, am Heath Ledger!" The little flea's eyes went big and round and glowed with admiration.

"Heath Ledger?!?!" Now it was his turn to squeal.

"That's right!" he boomed, "So, don't threaten me! Or else I might have to threaten you back with my stick - uh, I mean, lance, of course ."

Joe couldn't speak, he was too flabbergasted! He was holding a conversation with Heath Ledger (also known as William Thatcher, or Sir Ulrich van Lichtenstein)! Anyway, he had always been our little flea's hero. Then Joe shook himself mentally. How preposterous! Heath Ledger! How could he even be sure it was him? Huff! No, it isn't him. He would not believe it! Then again, maybe he knew the way out.

"Um, well, it's been nice meeting you and all," said Joe, "but I'd really like to get out of here ."

"Ahhh yes ." said Heath, "I thought that might come up."

"So . can you help me? Do you know the way out?"

Heath Ledger gave a laugh. "Of course I do! It's simple! Just fly up, up, up, until you get out"

Joe smacked himself. How could he have been so stupid??? Of course! It's so logical!

He thanked his hero and bid him farewell. Then he looked up at the sky (actually the kitchen ceiling) with a sense of longing and said, "Then up, up, up it is, Joe!" He started flapping his little wings his eyes ever glued to his image of freedom, and he started flying. Flying up, up, up .