ne day I got a plane ticket to the North Pole. The reason I got a plane ticket to the North Pole is because I had heard that Alaska was colder than Arizona and I doubted that so I went to check it out.

So as I was flying up to the North Pole I realized that the flight attendant that was handing out salted peanuts was a Japanese immigrant. So I asked her what she liked about America. She said that she liked the canned beans the best. I told her that that was a little weird but I respected that.

So when we were about to land suddenly something went wrong and the plane flipped three times and I was the only survivor. I got out of the wreckage and crawled on my hands and knees for four full days when suddenly I saw a huge mansion. So I forced myself to be able to crawl over to it. So when I knocked on the door and nobody answered I let myself into the house. When I went inside and sat down I heard a huge noise around the corner. When I peeked around the corner I saw Santa Clause, but what was he doing with his little elves. After I got a better look I saw that they were making counter-fit money. So I crawled through the ventilation system I saw that their plans were to send the parents money so they could do the work for them. I couldn't let those slacking elves and some big fat oaf sleaze their way out of not doing their job. Plus if they did that they would still be famous, it was the perfect plan.

My plan to stop the crime was to secretly leave a huge mound of cookies and sweets in the kitchen. Any person who could fly around the world and eat millions of cookies and glasses of milk in one night would never be able to resist the number of junk food I left. Well anyway, after he eats the food he'll need some kind of pill to put him to sleep. So while he's in the bath room I'll round up the elves and tie the elves up and hold them hostage by holding toothpaste to their eyes. Once the Clause gets out of the bathroom I'll show him the tied up elves and force the Clause to sign a treaty that he would obey the laws of Christmas. At least, that's the plan.

So while I was stacking the food in the kitchen I heard an elf walking toward where I was, but I just thought no problem and held the elf's mouth closed and tied him up rapped masking tape around his mouth and eye's and though him in the broom closet. So everything was going fine until the Clause came in the kitchen for some M&M's. Once again I had to run to a corner and hide. So as he walked in he noticed the huge mound of candy and sprinted toward it and started to stuff away. I couldn't believe how fast he was taking down that candy. Well, after he finished he walked off like it was nothing. I couldn't believe it. So since the Clause ate all that candy like it was nothing there was only one thing left to do, ask them why they were doing this. So I snuck up from behind them and introduced myself and asked them why they were sending parents counter-fit money so the parents would do all of the work for them. The Clause said that they weren't doing that, they were! making counter-fit money so they could retire early; because they're jobs only pay 5 cents an hour and that they've already been working for thousands of years. Plus the Jolly Old St. Nicholas story was just getting too old. They said that kids needed a Jolly Old St. Tom or a Jolly Old St. Bob and little horse racing jockeys instead of elves. I told them that I could see why someone would risk life in prison just to have a Jolly Old St. Bob and little horse racing jockeys to take over they're job. So I left them in peace never telling them about the elf I tied up in the closet.

Exactly a month later I was back in Arizona for Christmas morning. So after I had gotten up and looked in my stocking and saw horse toe nails in it and wondered what was up with that and remembered Jolly Old St. Bob and the little horse jockeys. So for the rest of the day I sat around the house eating my horse toe nails and some hot coco while watching T.V.